Top 100 Funny Football Songs

The latest rib ticklers from your club’s terrace wits…

Chant Type Views
(90 day)
Pie Rating
1 Park Park Wherever You May Be
Brilliant and one of the funniest
Man United 13,990
4.93333
2 JT's Ma
Why wouldn't she? (Ed: Sorry JT)
Liverpool 6,941
4.8
3 Arsenal Pass The Ball
Took the piss at Anfield, as opposed to Liverpool hoof ...
Arsenal 6,554 Rate it
4 John Arne Riise
Great goal, goal of the eason maybe.
Chelsea 6,003
5.0
5 Where's Your Mourinho
Yet another sung to Chelsea.
Liverpool 5,153
4.0
6 Seen Gerrard Win The League?
Well have you, aarrrgh!!!
Arsenal 4,970
5.0
7 Dirty Northern B*stards
Sung to whoever comes down to the Boleyn.
West Ham 4,228
5.0
8 We Pay Your Benefit
Scousers who else
Arsenal 4,048 Rate it
9 Liverpool Hoof The Ball
Great taking the pi*s out of the scousers for their ...
Arsenal 3,413
4.0
10 Christian Dailly
We'd let him 'ave our wives.
West Ham 2,539
5.0
11 My Garden Shed
Funny fanchant refering to the home teams ground size.
Aston Villa 2,342
5.0
12 She Fell Over
Sung when someone takes a tumble like a girl
Arsenal 2,307 Rate it
13 My Garden Shed
Sung at Old Trafford amongst others
Sunderland 2,209
5.0
14 New Chant Maxi Gradel
Maxi gradel
Leicester City 2,186
5.0
15 Stand Up If You've Got A Job
Funny aimed at the scousers.
West Ham 1,986
5.0
16 Always S*** On A Tesco Carrier Bag
Every little helps
Wolves 1,951
5.0
17 Niall Quinn's Disco Pants
Long may you reign over us king Niall. (Ed: not ...
Sunderland 1,809
5.0
18 Rather Be A Dingle
Sang when albion calls us fat dingle b***ards
Wolves 1,748
5.0
19 Get Yer Tits Out
Like the log wolf whistle at the end.
Newcastle United 1,680
4.0
20 Boro Stayed At Home
Where are they?
Newcastle United 1,666
5.0
21 Your Suit's From Matalan
Having a go at the "Special one's" taste in attire.
Man City 1,633 Rate it
22 You'll get Foot & Mouth
This came about during the foot and mouth outbreak a ...
Birmingham City 1,495 Rate it
23 Small Town In Moscow
Funny chant to wind up Chelsea.
Man City 1,424 Rate it
24 Third World Country!
Havin a pop at Cardiff and the Welsh in general! ...
Leeds 1,296 Rate it
25 Your Ground's From B & Q
Sung at Colchester 06/07 season
Leeds 1,256 Rate it
26 Tevez Is A Wedsnesdayite
Our hero from West Ham.
Sheffield Wednesday 1,205 Rate it
27 O'Connor
The song says it all really.
Birmingham City 1,196 Rate it
28 Ayatollah
Classic Cardiff City
Cardiff City 1,160
4.5
29 Pogo If You Love The Toon
Up and down
Newcastle United 1,106
3.0
30 Could Be Worse, We Could Be Leeds
Sung about our friends (I use the term loosely) who've ...
Derby County 1,075
5.0
31 Stand Up Cos You Can't Sit Down
Sung at Brighton
Leeds 1,010 Rate it
32 Wise, Wise
Funny sung to Dennis Wise when he took Leeds United ...
Derby County 948
5.0
33 Stick Yer Blue Flag Up Ye Arse
Sideways....
Queens Park Rangers 926 Rate it
34 Sign On
The old classic sung to the poor people.
Nottingham Forest 917
5.0
35 Goal Kick Funny
A great way to put the keeper off his kick.
Leicester City 912
5.0
36 One Carlos Tevez
Always a hero in our book after scoring the goals ...
Sheffield Wednesday 907 Rate it
37 Are You Grimsby In Disguise
Sung when we are playing a team that ain't too ...
Hull City 894 Rate it
38 We're Sh*t And We Know We Are
Sung at Derby when getting relegated 06/07 season when they ...
Leeds 872 Rate it
39 Cheer Up Billy Davies
Sung at Billy Davies when we were away at Derby
Birmingham City 847 Rate it
40 Sh*t Ground No Bogs
Sung when at Bristol Rovers when there were no bogs.
Leeds 830 Rate it
41 I've Got A Shed
S*it ground, no fans.
Sheffield Wednesday 804 Rate it
42 One Steve McClaren
Taking the Steve out of the English.
Cardiff City 778
5.0
43 Harry Redknapp's Got A Twitch
Judas. Pompey deserve him.
Southampton 771
5.0
44 We've Won It...
Sang in reply to Liverpools '5 times'
Wigan 761
3.0
45 Let's All Have A Disco
You can tell by the way they walk, they are ...
Portsmouth 734 Rate it
46 Tracksuits From Matalan
Dodgy....
Sheffield Utd 668 Rate it
47 Funny Goal Kick
One of the best we've heard, funny...
Plymouth Argyle 651
5.0
48 Go Home
Sung by QPR fans when it's getting embarrassing for the ...
Queens Park Rangers 646 Rate it
49 Mowbray Knock Him Out
The boss has a go.
West Bromwich Albion 617
5.0
50 We Always Get S*** Refs
Why does that happen, every time!
West Bromwich Albion 611
5.0
51 Let's All Have A Disco
You can tell by the way we walk.
Cardiff City 611
4.0
52 We're Off To Liverpool, You're off to Blackpool
Sung to L**ds Scum
Preston North End 606 Rate it
53 Arse To A Russian
Chelsea sold out....
Blackburn Rovers 601 Rate it
54 The Palace Family
A social services minefield.
Bristol City 582 Rate it
55 Ayatollah Jonesy
The boss giving it the Ayatollah.
Cardiff City 579
4.0
56 Interbred Yorkshire Scum
More social working required here.
Tranmere Rovers 577
5.0
57 Hudders Funny 1
Apparently the police are keeping him from his wild women.
Huddersfield Town 574
5.0
58 One Nil To The Famous Team
Great one sung at Leeds last time.
Nottingham Forest 574
5.0
59 Crying On The Tele
Sung to the Leeds fans seen on the box yelling ...
Huddersfield Town 554
5.0
60 New Chant Charlie Adam's Sister's Pants
'Bout Rangers' players sister
Celtic 535
5.0
61 Always look on Turf Moor...
Turf Moor Sh*t Heap
Preston North End 503 Rate it
62 Small Town In Millwall
Was sung to wind up West Ham. Class.
Plymouth Argyle 487 Rate it
63 New Chant Bouncy, Bouncy
Sung whilst bouncing up and down of course
Rangers 482 Rate it
64 Brighton Are S*it
Sung at Palace to wind 'em up.
Ipswich Town 456 Rate it
65 New Chant Let's All Have A Disco
Fun times on the terraces
Aston Villa 450 Rate it
66 Let's All Have A Disco
Boogy on down. Great Southampton ringtone. Sung whilst dancing around ...
Southampton 439
5.0
67 Are You Villa In Disguise
Was sung at Burnley recently as they wear the same ...
West Bromwich Albion 437
5.0
68 The Beast Is An Albion Fan
Better than a wolf anyday.
West Bromwich Albion 399
5.0
69 New Chant Silent Night
Brilliantly made up at watford (home) tilton
Birmingham City 396
5.0
70 Malky Mackay
Funny chant...
Watford 383
3.0
71 No-one Hates You No-one Cares
Not the best recording. Worth putting in as is funny, ...
Crystal Palace 376 Rate it
72 One Dave Allen
Sung for Sheff Wed's chairman who's sued a load of ...
Barnsley 346 Rate it
73 New Chant This Is The Best Trip
Sang at most away games
Hull City 333 Rate it
74 Can We Play You Every Week
Easy, easy, easy....
Watford 313
3.5
75 Dennis Wise On A Piece Of String
Favourite toy.
Swindon Town 312 Rate it
76 Wise Out, (Wise Out)
Should've been Wise in with the superb job he was ...
Preston North End 302 Rate it
77 We're Just Too Good
Classic, sang at Leeds.
Doncaster Rovers 300 Rate it
78 New Chant Soya Sauce And Chicken Chops Suey
brilliant made by back of tilton
Birmingham City 292 Rate it
79 Wise, Wise
Funny one, I think Derby also sing this.
Swindon Town 278 Rate it
80 Who Need's Mourihno
Sung everytime the saviour physio comes running out.
Scunthorpe United 270 Rate it
81 New Chant Sebo
Celtic taking the p*ss chanting for Rangers to bring on ...
Celtic 264 Rate it
82 Sit Down If You're Going Down
Another one for those at the bottom
Preston North End 261 Rate it
83 New Chant We're Not Famous Anymore
Usually sung when they sing "You're not famous...."
Leeds 243 Rate it
84 Where's Yer Money Gone
Another that was sung to the Leeds scum.
Swindon Town 202
5.0
85 New Chant When The Beans Come Out The Tin
everybody loves beans
Birmingham City 200 Rate it
86 League One And You Know You Are
Sung to Leeds...
Swindon Town 193
2.0
87 Come To Watch The Yeovil
Funny one, we sung to Leeds.
Yeovil Town 183
5.0
88 Just Like Watchin' Brazil
Socrates, Zico, they're all here.
Hereford United 164 Rate it
89 New Chant I'm A B*stard
Bury scum...
Rochdale 162 Rate it
90 New Chant What A Waste Of Council Tax
Funny Grimsby football chant, aimed at the police
Grimsby Town 156 Rate it
91 New Chant Foot And Mouth
song for the vile
Birmingham City 154 Rate it
92 New Chant Let's Pretend We Scored A Goal
When we're desperate for some action, it's followed by goal ...
Grimsby Town 148 Rate it
93 New Chant We P*ss On Your Fish
Hehe (Ed: Never have fish and chips in Grimsby, not ...
Grimsby Town 146
5.0
94 Let's All Have Disco
Accompanied by a bit of a shuffle around the terrace.
Yeovil Town 139
5.0
95 New Chant Posh Spice
I wouldn't say no!
Crewe Alexandra 135 Rate it
96 New Chant Goal Kick
Classic old way to celebrate a s*it goal kick by ...
Cheltenham Town 127
5.0
97 Sing When We're Fishin'
Mariners still fishin for that No 1 hit!
Grimsby Town 126 Rate it
98 New Chant Champions League To The LDV
Great funny re Leeds United's demise
AFC Bournemouth 110 Rate it
99 New Chant Grim Up North
Grey, dark and it smells a bit, lovely
Brighton 106 Rate it
100 New Chant Stand Up If You're 4-1 Down
Dark football humour, laughing in the face of adversity
Grimsby Town 76 Rate it

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Football Songs by Category

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