Another steal from the Torres tune for Kevin Davies
He's half a man and half machine, Davo, Davo He's harder than that puff Roy Keane, Davo, Davo He scores at home, he scores away I'd marry him if I were gay, Kevin Davies, the hardest man in the land!
For the left back who should be playing for England above Wayne Bridge!
After revelations by Robinho that the bus was his favoured mode of transport on shopping trips