Best midfielder in Europe
Scott Parker (whoa), Scott Parker (whoa), He came from Newcastle, He's better than Lionel (Messi),
Canto Does the Circus Know You'Re Here?
Sung at Nikola Zigic, the abnormally tall Birmingham striker, at the Boleyn Ground
Canto You're Getting Sacked in the Morning
Sung to managers who are doing a rubbish job
Canto John Terry Your Mums a Thief!
Sung to a thiefs son (Ed: These are obviously not the views of FC Towers)
Canto Lampard You Let Your Children Down!
Sung to Lampard because his children live in a flat and he lives in a mansion (Ed: Again not necessarily the views of FC Towers)
Canto You Don't Love Your Wife
Sung to Ashley Cole because he cheated on his wife (Ed: Again not the views of FC Towers)